The death of feminism?

Catchy title, but not exactly the point of this story. I've been sorta wondering how the last 30+ years of feminism has been transformed and applied to the girls of today. Badly, it seems. But, here's what I believe:

Feminism at its best offered women - and men for that matter - the idea that anyone should be able to achieve what she wants regardless of gender, and that loving and successful domestic relationships could consist of two equal partners.

But yet girls today, the same ones who think Rhianna got "what she deserved" from Chris Brown (look it up if you care) are only measuring their worth--their value--based on their ability to attract and keep a boy. It's not about being the best YOU can be, it's about being the best as seen by someone else. A stupid boy, or as the case may be, a stupid man.

This is what's wrong with Twilight, incidentally. The girl who is involved with the hot young vampire boy has no real identity outside of how she looks in his eyes. Whatever he wants her to be--she will be. If this is what we're passing off as valid entertainment for teenage girls (and teenage boys, as well) then we need to examine our motives. I almost said "reexamine" but I'm guessing that first inspection never took place.

In my stories, my heroines won't be perfect, but they won't define themselves in terms of others. And my heroes won't expect any heroine worth her salt to willingly subjugate herself just to be more of what he might want. Personally, I'd much rather have a partner who is the biggest person she can be. Challenge me, make me work for it. You see, I want to grow, as well. So I really do say "bring it on." I want your best stuff, because you deserve my best stuff.